


Panic! at the Orgy: or How Brendon Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Ryan Ross

by frogy



Category: Panic At The Disco
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-02
Updated: 2008-07-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 21:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogy/pseuds/frogy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Zack winds up with a sex room, Jon has phone sex with his girlfriend, and Brendon misses the orgy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panic! at the Orgy: or How Brendon Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Ryan Ross

**Author's Note:**

> So first there was [this picture](http://www.buzznet.com/www/search/photos/brendon,%20zack/?id=5614575). Then [this picture](http://www.buzznet.com/www/search/photos/katie%20kay/?id=16025381). On first look, they could be on the same bed. I wrote this fic last summer, up to and including all the fun header things (disclaimer, summary, authors notes, etc) and then never posted it. I = fail. This is unbeta'd.

"Zack! Zack! Zack! Zack!" Brendon bounces up and down on his toes in the hotel hallway where Zack's getting the rest of Panic! to their rooms unabducted by rabid fangirls.

"What Brendon?" Zack asks, exasperated. Brendon often inspires 'exasperated.'

"You have a sex room!" Brendon says excitedly.

"How have you seen my room?"

"I took the wrong key," Brendon says pulling a hotel keycard out of his back pocket with a flourish.

Zack grabs the card back and shoves it in his pocket. Brendon grabs Zack's arm and starts tugging, "come on, you have to see this."

~~~

They stop in the doorway and stare. It really is a sex room. The walls are a deep, decadent red. There's an enormous four poster bed, covered in a melee of animal print. And there are mirrors everywhere.

"The other guys _need_ to see this," Brendon says and disappears.

Zack moves into the room and sits down on chaise lounge. It's not until he's sitting that he realizes it's positioned to get the absolute best view of the bed in all of the many mirrors.

~~~

Zack's still sitting there when Spencer's shoved into the room with a shout from the Brendon, "See! A sex room! I'm gonna find Ryan and Jon. They'll love this," before he's gone again.

Spencer looks around in silence, before sitting down next to Zack on the chaise. "You really do have a sex room," he says in quiet awe.

"Yea, I do."

~~~

Zack and Spencer are both sitting there when Dusty and Katie Kay peek their heads in. "We heard you have a sex room," Katie says.

"Holly shit," Dusty says as they enter the room, spinning around to take it all in, "you do have a sex room."

"Which raises the question, why is no one having sex?" Katie asks.

Zack raises his eyebrows and says "you two are more than welcome to get started on that."

"I don't know, what do you think, Dusty?"

"I think we can do that," Dusty says, jumping onto the bed and giving it a few good bounces. Katie jumps in after Dusty, her hands finding Dusty's shoulders, pinning her down. Katie flips her dreads over her shoulder, a sexy move in its own right, exposing the long live of her neck, and leaving a clear view of what's about to happen for Zack and Spencer. Katie and Dusty are performing and it's obvious they're conscious of their audience here. When Katie leans down to kiss Dusty it's nothing like the glimpses Spencer's caught of them backstage, standing inside one another's personal space, a hand lingering on the curve of the other's hip or lower back, quick kisses pressed to the corner of the other's mouth or the base of the other's neck, adding up to more than just friends. This is open mouths, searching tongues, and mischievous looks darting off to where the guys are sitting.

It's damn hot.

~~~

"Yo, Zack, I heard you have a sex-" the tail end of the statement falling off as Matt enters the room and looks around.

Katie and Dusty are still making out in the bed, minus clothes but mostly covered in the sheets which tangle around their long limbs. As Dusty turns to the door, the sheets move exposing a line of bare skin down Katie's side.

Zack and Spencer are still on the chaise, although they've slid down to reclining with their legs spread open, to make room. If you ignore the bulge at his crotch, Zack looks perfectly composed; Spencer, not as much. His hands clench rhythmically at his thighs, trying not to appear the desperate teenager he feels like.

"Katie, Dusty," Matt begins totally cool, "you want some company in there?"

Katie and Dusty stop for a moment to exchange a glance, having an entire conversation in their look, before Dusty replies for the both of them. "Sure."

Matt's pulling his shirt off, kicking off his pants, and is climbing into bed with them before Spencer even realizes what's happening.

"Zack," Spencer says in a whispers that echoes in the room, "Why didn't we think of that?"

"I don't know," Zack answers without taking his eyes off the three on the bed. "You're the rockstar. The orgy is supposed to be your idea."

"Orgy," Spencer repeats in disbelief, finally looking over at Zack.

"Are you guys joining us? Or are you just going to sit there and keep talking about it," Katie calls to them from behind where Dusty is sucking a line down Matt's neck.

That startles them into action, Zack getting up and pulling his shirt off over his head, a mile of tattooed skin appearing in front of Spencer. Spencer follows a step behind, step more hesitant, as they cross the room to the bed.

Right before Zack gets on the bed, Spencer reaches out, grabbing his bicep, stopping him. Zack turns in Spencer's grip, giving Spencer a questioning look. First and foremost he looks out for his boys. Spencer meets Zack's gaze for a moment before his eyes jump to the mirror behind Zack. Katie, Dusty, and Matt are tangled up in the bed, naked and beautiful. He sees Zack in the mirror and himself. He's 18. His band's album is climbing the charts. He's about to have an orgy. Be in an orgy? He doesn't even know what to call it. He brings his gaze back to Zack's again, and asks, "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

~~~

"Ryan, come on, you have to see this," Brendon says, tugging on Ryan's arm as he drags Ryan down the hallway. "Zack totally has a sex room."

Brendon swings the door open, takes a step into the room. Immediately, Brendon turns around and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

"What?" Ryan asks. He didn't make it further than right outside the door in the hallway.

"There was-" Brendon sputters, flailing his arms out in explanation. "They were-" he starts again, another spaz of motion. "Sex."

"Uh-"

"They're having sex without us!" Brendon pauses, and Ryan can see Brendon's thoughts processing. When Brendon speaks again it's with subdued seriousness, "Ryan, we missed the orgy."

"Okay?" Ryan's sure that it's not supposed to be a question but it comes out like one.

"We missed the orgy." Brendon says again. Brendon grabs Ryan's hand and looks right into Ryan's eyes trying to convey the massive, huge, seriousness in this. "We missed the orgy."

~~~

That's Spencer's last thought, before Dusty lowers herself on his cock is ' I can't believe this is happening to me.' Then he can't think at all.

~~~

Ryan's sprawled out on his bed, taking up as much space as possible, luxuriating in having a bed that's not moving 60 miles per hour. Brendon is pacing and having a conversation that doesn't require Ryan at all. It also doesn't seem to require the use of more than four words. Brendon mutters " _we_ missed the orgy." Pause and turn. "We _missed_ the orgy." Pause and turn. "We missed the _orgy_."

Ryan's enjoying the sound of Brendon's voice washing over him, more rhythmic and beautiful than it ever is on stage trying to pronounce all of his ten dollar words in time clumps of time, when Brendon seems to remember that Ryan's there. "Ry~an, we _missed_ the _orgy_ ," Brendon says, this time not just repeating him mantra, but distinctively whining at Ryan.

"You're the one that dubbed it the sex room," Ryan says totally non-pulsed.

"It's the sex room! That doesn't mean they should be having sex in there!" Brendon says perching on the tiny corner of open space on the bed next to Ryan.

Ryan smirks. "You can't fight in here! This is the War Room."

"What?" Brendon stills, looking at Ryan confused.

"Kubrick," Ryan says. Brendon still looks clueless. "Nevermind," Ryan says rolling his eyes.

"Jasmine," Brendon says.

Ryan looks back up at Brendon, meeting the challenge in his eyes with a blank stare. "What?"

"Disney princess," a long pause, and then "nevermind," but instead of rolling his eyes, Brendon keeps his gaze locked with Ryan's.

Ryan shifts so that he's half sitting up, and there's room for Brendon to scoot up and sit on the bed. "Miming what people other people say stopped being hilarious in the third grade." Ryan says, and Brendon's startled by how close his shifting has brought them.

Brendon leans and challenges "Says the guy in love with mimes." They argue semantics, movies, and pop culture on a regular basis- play fighting that drives Spencer and Jon crazy- but tonight they're not there to make them back off. Ryan's so close his face doesn't fit in Brendon's field of vision. Brendon's eyes flicker down to Ryan's mouth.

"'M not in love with mimes," Brendon can feel the hot breath of the words. "I'm in love with-" the last word is lost in the press of their lips.

~~~

Jon spends the night having phone sex with his girlfriend.

~~~

"Ow."

"Sorry."

"Watch your elbow."

"You fail Zack."

"What have I done?" Spencer knows that one's Zack.

"Your bed may be big enough for five people to have sex on it, but it's not big enough for five people to sleep on after," Katie says, leaning over from behind Matt at the far end of the bed.

"Oh, sorry," Zack says.

"Have you checked if you have a sex bathroom yet?" Dusty asks leaning over Spencer's shoulder.

"Not yet, no."

"I'm gonna check it out, shower. Katie?" Dusty says, rolling out of bed and holding her hand out in invitation to Katie.

"Sure, I'm squished," Katie says, taking Dusty's hand, worming her way over them and off the bed.

The girls disappear into the bathroom for a moment, then Dusty sticks her head out to say "Yo, your bathroom sucks"

"Again, sorry," Zack says, still completely unconvincing.

"Your loss," Katie says. "It means I'm gonna go shower in my room, and you can't join me." Her tone's playful as she collects her clothes and starts getting dressed.

"So Spence, gonna be jealous when I'm giving Urie his lapdance tomorrow?" Dusty asks, a note more than teasing in it.

Spencer's eyes follow her still mostly naked form, as she gathers her clothes from the floor. He's not sure what the right answer is, but he knows what the honest one is. "You're not mine to be jealous over."

"You're a good rock star, Spencer," Dusty says pulling her shirt over her head.

"Uhmm… Thanks?" Spencer thinks that was a compliment, maybe.

"Sometimes guys think things mean more than they do," Dusty says. Spencer's not sure that explains anything.

"I think you're Katie's to be jealous over."

"But she never is," Dusty says softly, to herself, seemingly forgetting where she is. Then, to Spencer, "I take it back. You're a good man."

Spencer can honestly say "thank you" to that.

When the girls finish getting dressed and leave with flirty smiles and sly waves, Matt gets up. "Well, it's been fun, but I'm gonna…" he trails off, nodding towards the door.

"Okay," Zack answers, accompanied by a manly grunt and nod.

Then Matt's gone, and it's just Spencer, still pressed up next to Zack, held there by Zack's arm across his chest. Spencer nudges the arm, "I can't get up."

"You can stay," Zack says, rolling on to his side so he can get a better hold on Spencer, wrapping Spencer in his arms.

Spencer tenses up. "Umm," Spencer's spent the whole evening completely out of his element, and he's still not sure what's going on.

Zack smirks at Spencer's confusion. "Can I tell you a secret?" Zack asks in a conspiratorial whisper.

"Okay."

"You're my favorite."

Spencer relaxes in at that pronouncement, turning to look at Zack. "Brendon's gonna be _so_ mad when he finds out."

"You're not going to tell him," Zack says, matter of fact about it.

"I'm not?"

"No, you're not."

Spencer knows what his next line's supposed to be, finally finding stable footing in there cheesy romantic-comedy dialogue, as he says "how are you going to stop me?"

"Like this," and Zack pulls Spencer in, kissing him.

~~~

The next morning, they're drifting, unused to free time, when Spencer and Zack show up in Jon's room. Ryan and Brendon are already there discussing what to order from room service.

"Just in time for breakfast," Jon says as he notices them. "And hey," Jon pauses, then asks "Where were you last night? I thought I was sharing with you."

"Yea Spencer, where were you last night?" Brendon asks, scrunching up his eyebrows in a way that's possibly supposed to be suggestive. Spencer's not sure, it could also be that he's squinting at something in the distance, or is constipated.

"I was hanging out with Zack and people," Spencer says aiming for dismissive, but mostly looking like he's lying in the way he averts his eyes.

"What about you?" Zack asks. "Where were you, I thought you said you were coming back."

"I found Ryan and got distracted." Brendon turns red. Interesting.

"What, bitching at each other or snuggling?" Zack shoots back.

"Hey!" Brendon says, pretending to be insulted. Except that's usually what they do. Brendon puts his arm around Ryan's neck and pulls Ryan into him. "We were discussing how we're having waffles for breakfast."

"Except that I'm having pancakes." Ryan talks in his trademark monotone, but he hasn't tried to pull away from Brendon yet, which is different from usual.

"Good, waffles, pancakes, and what do you two want?" Jon asks, picking up the phone to call down for room service.

"I want an omelet, with, uh-" Spencer pulls the menu away from Ryan and Brendon, glancing down at it, "with cheddar cheese, onions and green peppers."

"A meat lover's omelet, and hash browns."

"But Zack, think of the cows," Brendon says, making puppy dog eyes from where he's still wrapped around Ryan.

"The cows are yummy," Zack says, sitting down on the spare bed, motioning for Spencer to join him, which he does. Zack looks around for the tv remote, but can't seem to find it.

Brendon cackles evilly. "You may have the bed, but I have the remote." And, the bed really isn't an issue for Brendon, because he has no problem plopping himself down on Jon's sleeped-in bed, while Jon's on the phone getting them breakfast.

"Oh, nice," Jon says when he hangs up and realizes all the seats are taken. "Go ahead, take over my room. And what are you watching?"

"Timon and Pumba!" Brendon tells him.

Jon rolls his eyes, sitting down cross-legged on the floor. "We so fail at the rock and roll lifestyle."

 


End file.
